If I Were A GIRL by Jeffrey Beringer.  Copyright 2005.  All rights reserved. Photo by Kimberly Smith JEFFREY'S NOTES Being a girl is cool and anyone who disagrees can go F#!@ themselves!  Of course theres more than one way to be a girl.  This song is about the kind of girl I would be, if I were a girl.  The photo is of me when I was a senior in college.  As you can see we had a very strict dress code where I went to college.   I still have that dress If you wanna borrow it. If I were a girl I would have boobies I would wear a wonder bra and paint my nails If I were a girl I'd star in all the movies Like "Debbie Does Dallas in Pig Tails" And if I were a girl I would wear mascara I would bat my eyelashes and giggle all the time And if I were a girl You'd buy me lots of drinks I'll take a shirley temple with a splash of lime If I were a girl I'd be a very, very, very fun girl If I were a girl I would drive a hummer I'd paint it pink And take the top down And if iI were a girl I'd spend the whole summer Cruising with my friends all over town And if I were a girl I'd wear a bikini I'd let the ocean waves Knock the top part off And If I were a girl I wouldn't put it back on Until the life guard's jaw had dropped Cause If i were a girl I'd be a very, very, very fun girl When I want to be sweet I'd be a damsel in distress When I want to be a bitch I'd have PMS I would be flirtatious I would be audacious I would be outgrageous I'd be a very fun girl If I were a girl I'd be a very, very, very fun girl